Amazing things happen when humans face emergency situations. When confronted with danger or stress, our bodies and minds instinctively respond, commonly known as the 4Fs: Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn.
I was recently traveling with my international coaching mastermind group in South Carolina and we heard some wild stories about alligators in the area. It was interesting to note that people are rarely killed by them. In fact, the last two times a person was killed by an alligator, they were both women who were trying to save their dogs from being eaten.
These two women were driven by the love for their pets – to the point that their primitive brains took over and they jumped into a dangerous situation without thought.
So I had to consider the deep wiring in our brains. Our unconscious, Primitive Brain takes over and pulls us into the jaws of an alligator because we’re not thinking in the moment.
It’s called an Amygdala Hijack.
When this happens, the brain floods with chemicals including adrenaline and cortisol. This creates negative effects on our ability to manage the situation well.
Top five amygdala hijack triggers:
- Lack of respect
- Being treated unfairly
- Feeling unappreciated
- No one is listening to your ideas
- Being held to unrealistic deadlines
We all have a deep, deep pull. A flight or fight response, that can potentially pull us into danger. If we don’t excavate our triggers and learn to understand ourselves, we are at risk.
The amygdala is what controls the four F’s. In order to lead with self-mastery and high emotional intelligence, we need to engage our prefrontal cortex.
So let’s break down the 4 F’s:
Fight: In the face of threat or adversity, some individuals are inclined to confront the situation head-on. This response is characterized by a surge of adrenaline, heightened alertness, and a readiness to defend oneself or others. Whether it’s standing up against an aggressor or tackling a challenging problem, the fight response embodies courage and resilience.
Flight: Alternatively, the flight response kicks in when the perceived danger seems overwhelming. Individuals experiencing this response feel a strong urge to escape or avoid the threatening situation altogether. It’s a primal instinct aimed at self-preservation, often manifesting as fleeing from imminent danger or seeking refuge in a safer environment.
Freeze: When confronted with extreme stress or fear, some people may find themselves unable to take action. The freeze response involves a temporary paralysis of sorts, where individuals feel immobilized or incapable of making decisions. It’s as if the mind and body momentarily shut down, possibly as a way to assess the situation or as a form of self-preservation against potential harm.
Fawn: Less commonly discussed but equally significant, the fawn response involves a tendency to appease or comply with perceived threats. This reaction stems from a desire to mitigate conflict or avoid harm by seeking approval or cooperation from others. Individuals exhibiting the fawn response may engage in people-pleasing behaviors or attempt to smooth things over in hopes of de-escalating the situation.
Understanding these responses is crucial not only for our personal development but also for navigating emergencies and crises effectively. By recognizing our innate tendencies and those of others, we can better prepare ourselves to respond adaptively in challenging circumstances.
In order to develop mastery of the amygdala hijack there are many habits people can develop which support emotional intelligence and our highest thinking skills:
- Self-care helps support our parasympathetic nervous system, “Rest and Digest.” This includes sleep, relaxation, healthy eating, exercise, etc.
- Meditation and deep breathing
- Gratitude practices and focusing on our blessings
- Flow – discovering what kind of positive activity creates a state of flow for you
- Life Work harmony – being able to have boundaries on work and personal issues
- Support system – having people who will help you talk through situations, support you and help you develop strategies to be mindful
- Spirituality and faith often provide meaning and purpose behind healthy habits
- Learning to pause and be intentional about your response instead of emotionally reacting
- Learning to self-regulate by controlling your heart rate and physical reactions. Interestingly, men take a longer time to lower their heart rate than women. Whether we fight, flee, freeze, or fawn, our responses to emergencies are deeply ingrained evolutionary mechanisms aimed at ensuring our survival. By acknowledging and understanding these reactions, we empower ourselves to navigate the complexities of life with greater resilience and awareness.
Today I want you to identify, what’s the part of your Primitive Brain that would unknowingly, unwillingly pull you into the mouth of an alligator and put you at risk?
Sarah Fruehling
M.A., Master Certified Coach, Board Certified Coach
Fruehling Coaching and Facilitation
info@fruehlingcoaching.com
fruehlingcoaching.com
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